Check Please!

Some guys don't just forget the flowers; they even forget the conversation. When I was dating, before I was involved in a happy relationship, I met a guy who had contacted me on line. Meeting in a coffeehouse in Chelsea, I had a bad feeling about him almost immediately because he just had to have a cigarette only a few minutes after we met. When he went outside to smoke, I told the waitress to bring the check so that I could leave soon after he came back to our table. She was very busy though, so she forgot to bring it before he came back inside. Ten minutes after sitting down again, he went outside again to smoke another cigarette. By this point, I was just ready to leave. I got the waitress' attention, and she finally brought the check. When he got back to the table, he saw the check and grinned. I told him that a friend just called me and I had to go see her before it got too late. He told me to "cut the s**t. We both knew why we were there and we might as well say it." I looked at him in probably what looked to anyone observing us as awestruck amazement when he asked,"So, what time do I get to f**k you tonight?" After getting over my shock, I began laughing uncontrollably. He became so angry that he stormed out of the coffeehouse without paying. I promptly paid his portion of the bill and told the waitress that I just wanted to sit and enjoy my coffee while I finished the chapter in Wuthering Heights, the book I was reading. I found moody Heathcliff to be a more agreeable date that night than my on line acquaintance.

JLJ
-Brooklyn, NY